Ten

10 Ways You Know You’re in Orvieto:

1. The weather changes every two hours, especially when it’s to your disadvantage.  If it’s sunny in the morning, odds are there will a be a thunderstorm in the afternoon.  If it’s gloomy in the morning, there’s no guarantee it will turn sunny.

2. Via del Duomo is always crowded with tourists, especially on Sundays.

3. Garbage bags are color-coordinated.  If you do it wrong, you may have a nun coming around to scold you.

4. The funicolare ticket person is never there when you need him/her, causing you to miss the funicolare that you really needed, in turn leading to a missed train or inability to complete your tasks in the allotted time.

5. Intercity trains coming through are always at least 10 minutes late.  Regional trains are usually on time.

6. You’ve nearly gotten run over by a car at least 10 times in the last week due to the narrowness of the roads.

7. Any time you try to pay for something with a bill larger than 5 euros, the shop owner gives you a death glare.

8. Random events like the Fantasy Horror Awards and antique car shows or Fiat Club happen without you even realizing them.

9. Everything is closed Wednesday afternoons and evenings.  Don’t even try going out, the store you want will be closed.

10. Creepy accordion-playing men wander the streets and into restaurants and don’t leave until you give them money.  Isn’t the point that you give them money so that they start playing, instead of the other way around?

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One thought on “Ten

  1. Rebecca says:

    Garbage bags are color-coordinated? That’s complicated. Although I guess not any more than the different colored recycling thing we have.

    Nearly getting run over could mean you’re in Lima. If I die in Peru, it’s not because of an earthquake, political unrest or falling off an Andes mountain, it’s because I was crossing a street where stop signs and traffic lights are decorations.

    Ditto for a bill larger than 20 soles, except in supermercados. And don’t even try one of those on a micro.

    Lima has scary women with children who try to get you to give their children your ice cream or send their children running across the aforementioned traffic to try to sell you something.

    And, why Wednesdays?

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